What do dogs do on their day off?; Can't lie around – that's their job!

When I listen to those tapes now, the real cocaine shows; there's just nothing special about their content.

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

In most polls there are always about 5 percent of the people who 'don't know.' What isn't generally understood is that it's the same people in every poll.

Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.

Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

One of the first things they teach you in Driver's Ed is where to put your hands on the steering wheel. They tell you put 'em at ten o'clock and two o' clock. Never mind that . I put mine at 9:45 and 2:17. Gives me an extra half hour to get where I'm goin'.