What do dogs do on their day off?; Can't lie around – that's their job!

The symphony orchestra had played poorly, so the conductor was in a bad mood. That night he beat his wife--because the music hadn't been beautiful enough.

E-I-E-I-O is actually a gross misspelling of the word farm.

The sicker you get, the harder it is to remember if you took your medicine.

When you look at the average American you realize there's nothing nature enjoys more than a good joke.

Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian.

We now buy watches primarily for their looks, price, or additional functions. The fact that they tell time seems lost.