So I live in Los Angeles, and it's kind of a goofy place. They have an airport named after John Wayne. That ought to explain it. It has a charming kind of superstitious innocence.
George CarlinCloud nine gets all the publicity, but cloud eight actually is cheaper, less crowded, and has a better view.
George CarlinI'm not in show business because I don't have to go to the meetings, I'm just not a part of it, I don't belong to it. When you "belong" to something. You want to think about that word, "belong." People should think about that: it means they own you. If you belong to something it owns you, and I just don't care for that. I like spinning out here like one of those subatomic particles that they can't quite pin down.
George CarlinThere are only two types of motorists: the idiots who drive slower than me, and the lunatics who go faster.
George Carlin