Cancer research is a growth industry.

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

I'm happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.

I enjoy watching a woman with really bad teeth and a good sense of humor struggling to use her lips and tongue to hide her teeth when she's laughing. I just stand there and tell her joke after joke after joke.

I've been a performer for a long time and I know when people are laughing from their guts, from the inside, and when their tuxedos are laughing.

Heroin, forget it. In my neighborhood, I could see what heroin did firsthand and I was definitely afraid of that number.

I always have these little internal monologues. You'll get used to them.