Israeli murderers are called "commandos," Arab commandos are called "terrorists."

More people write poetry than read it.

Energy experts have announced the development of a new fuel made from human brain tissue. It's called assohol.

This is a lttle prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. I guess if they are going to force those kids to pray in schools they might as well have a nice prayer like this: Our Father who art in heaven, and to the republic for which it stands, thy kingdom come, one nation indivisible as in heaven, give us this day as we forgive those who so proudly we hail. Crown thy good into temptation but deliver us from the twilight's last gleaming. Amen and Awomen.

To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it.

Grass probably helped me as much as it hurt me. Especially as a performer.

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?