I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.

Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. Then you're just what they're looking for. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers.

I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and try to make pancakes

The god excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument.

The planet is fine. The people are f****d. Because everyone is trying to save the planet. The planet doesn’t need that. The planet will take care of itself. People are selfish. And that's what they're doing is trying to save the planet for themselves to have a nicer place to live.

People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?

My mother didn't get home until about seven most nights and, yes, there was a sense of being very alone after school. She gave me all the proper guidance and influences, but physically, she just couldn't be there.