Musicals are to the theater what wines are to a substantial dinner.

The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth.

Sex touches the heavens only when it simultaneously touches the gutter and the mud.

A poet, any real poet, is simply an alchemist who transmutes his cynicism regarding human beings into an optimism regarding the moon, the stars, the heavens, and the flowers, to say nothing of Spring, love, and dogs.

A man may be said to love most truly that woman in whose company he can feel drowsy in comfort.

The Russian dramatist is one who, walking through a cemetery, does not see the flowers on the graves. The American dramatist . . . Does not see the graves under the flowers.

An actor without a playwright is like a hole without a doughnut.