I drink so the others become interesting.

A man admires a woman not for what she says, but what she listens to.

The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth.

All that is necessary to raise imbecility into what the mob regards as profundity is to lift it off the floor and put it on a platform.

There is something distinguished about even his failures; they sink not trivially, but with a certain air of majesty, like a great ship, its flags flying, full of holes.

The dramatic critic who is without prejudice is on the plane with the general who does not believe in taking human life.

Criticism is the windows and chandeliers of art: it illuminates the enveloping darkness in which art might otherwise rest only vaguely discernible, and perhaps altogether unseen.