A broken heart is a monument to a love that will never die; fulfillment is a monument to a love that is already on its deathbed.

An abstainer is the sort of man you wouldn't want to drink with even if he did.

The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth.

Marriage is based on the theory that when a man discovers a brand of beer exactly to his taste, he should at once throw up his job and go to work inthe brewery.

To speak of morals in art is to speak of legislature in sex. Art is the sex of the imagination.

Art is the sex of the imagination.

Criticism is the art of appraising others at one's own value.