The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth.

The notion that as a man grows older his illusions leave him is not quite true. What is true is that his early illusions are supplanted by new, and to him, equally convincing illusions.

I have yet to find a man worth his salt in any direction who did not think of himself first and foremost.

A broken heart is a monument to a love that will never die; fulfillment is a monument to a love that is already on its deathbed.

There is no legimate actor who can resist the powerful lure of the movies. It isn't the money that fetches him. It isn't the great publicity. It is simply this: the movies enable an actor to look at himself.

Patriotism is often an arbitrary veneration of real estate above principles.

Bad officials are the ones elected by good citizens who do not vote.