I'm not afraid to take on somebody or say something that somebody will find offensive because unfortunately in comedy, you can't say anything really good without offending somebody.

I want to tell you about a woman I have been married to for ten years, my wife, Ann, who speaking truthfully, saved me from myself. Who saved me from destroying myself because of my background. Who saved me from wasting my life, drinking my life away, never fulfilling my dreams because of what I had come from, and truly believing and loving - truly the first person to ever truthfully, unconditionally love me.

When I was 10 there wasnt trampolines and cartoon charaters, I never went to Chuck E Cheese! My mom said 'You wanna see a mouse pull the refrigerator Out!'

I look at movies, unfortunately, and I still see a lot of movies [lacking diversity].

Tied one on last night. Not feeling great this morning. I was trying to sleep it off, unfortunately, it was on the casino floor.

It's good to see people not smoking. You get dressed up, and you smoke, and it gets in your clothes. You go, 'What should I wear tonight?' 'I don't know, honey, how about something menthol?'

It's a great day in America when white people, black people and Latinos can all come together and pick on another minority.