When I was 10 there wasnt trampolines and cartoon charaters, I never went to Chuck E Cheese! My mom said 'You wanna see a mouse pull the refrigerator Out!'

I think we all feel the same things most of the time, we just don't know how to put it into words. When I'm on stage, I say it. The truth makes people laugh.

Obama is the closest thing to a Latino that we have. Barack. Everybody wants to see his birth certificate too.

Presents? We already bought you a lot of things. Member when we were at the market and I bought you gum? You'member.

Life is great and golf has been one of the great parts of it for me.

I can never do nothing in this house!

People who are homeless, they're not all addicts. A lot of times, they're just people who, through something like losing their job or losing someone in their life, ended up on the streets. So much of our time is spent in cars that sometimes you need to look out of those windows. And you see that a dollar, 50 cents, whatever you have, may not mean much to you, but it means everything to people who are hungry and who are in need.