Barack Obama may be black, but John McCain is the first Albino presidential candidate: he's completely see-through!
George LopezI think we all feel the same things most of the time, we just don't know how to put it into words. When I'm on stage, I say it. The truth makes people laugh.
George LopezIf the worst thing that can happen is that nobody laughs, then I can deal with that, because the worst thing that can happen at the factory is that I could lose a limb or be crushed by a huge machine.
George LopezMy wife gave me a book before we got married, Oh, the Places You'll Go!, by Dr. Seuss. She was trying to tell me something, about what I was capable of, but I didn't get it. Over time, I've sort of lived the message in that book, and I couldn't have without what golf taught me. So I put it in my bag while I played the Old Course, and on the last hole when I posed on the Swilcan Bridge, I held it up.
George Lopez