Barack Obama may be black, but John McCain is the first Albino presidential candidate: he's completely see-through!

Max: What's a period? George: It's a bullet we dodge, go get ready.

I've spent days in cinemas answering questions from the audience, in interviews, travelling abroad, and all they do is thank me nicely.

If the worst thing that can happen is that nobody laughs, then I can deal with that, because the worst thing that can happen at the factory is that I could lose a limb or be crushed by a huge machine.

Presents? We already bought you a lot of things. Member when we were at the market and I bought you gum? You'member.

I can never do nothing in this house!

D.C. is a great place. The music, jazz, has always been great here, the restaurants have always been fantastic here. And there's been a lot of changes in this city over the last 30 years, and all for the better.