I've spent days in cinemas answering questions from the audience, in interviews, travelling abroad, and all they do is thank me nicely.

Y'know, if those pews reclined, and the priests gave the Raiders scores I'd go to church every Sunday.

Laughter survives... it has to survive.

You know, you walk through this hotel, you're not going to see all white people; you're not going to see all black people; you're going to see what the world looks like. I promised myself that if I ever got an opportunity where I would be able to make a difference and have a say, that I would want to deliver [that] message [of inclusivity].

Sarah Palin is Latina. Pay-leen. She has an infant and a grandkid the same age. Latina!

So I started to relax and would work on my act eight hours a day, sitting at a desk writing at my grandmother's house, and I would put on Richard Pryor Live on Long Beach and would play it like a loop and think and write

As long as you're a tax deduction, you'll always be safe in my house.