David Letterman is the best late-night talk show host right now, hands down, and has been since he first took the desk.

Y'know, if those pews reclined, and the priests gave the Raiders scores I'd go to church every Sunday.

We are now the proud owners of a white boy. Now we have to shop in the caucasian isle and get sunscreen, mayonaise and mild salsa because the other ones really hawt!

I prefer my Mexican food to have a little bit of an animal that suffered a little bit. That's some of the best food.

Laughter survives... it has to survive.

I never realized I could love people as much as I do now.

I grew up not having a father. Golf is the father I never had. It taught me honesty and respect and discipline and it taught me to control my temperament.