I'd love to have Michael Jackson [in my show] because he's black and white. So he would appeal to a universal demographic.

My wife gave me a book before we got married, Oh, the Places You'll Go!, by Dr. Seuss. She was trying to tell me something, about what I was capable of, but I didn't get it. Over time, I've sort of lived the message in that book, and I couldn't have without what golf taught me. So I put it in my bag while I played the Old Course, and on the last hole when I posed on the Swilcan Bridge, I held it up.

I believe that there are certain things that could be taken care of that you don't need a strong political background in.

If you want a show to succeed, you're going to have to have a certain amount of people watch who are non-black and non-Latino. If you can't cross over, you don't belong on TV. That's not just me saying it. That's just the way it is.

I didn't come from a background where I saw a lot of loving couples. All my aunts and uncles were either split up or fighting all the time. The only healthy relationships I saw were on TV.

Look, I made a commitment to corn 17 years ago. Sure, I'm a man. I like to go to a barbecue and see beans that I like: baked beans, red beans, black beans, big plump garbanzos. But in the end, I always come home to my sweet, sweet corn.

If you had a personal trainer, you would probably eat him. I know that in every fat person, there's a skinny person inside, but you could have all the season's contestants of America's Next Top Model in you. I hope I get reincarnated as your feet. That way, you'd never see my face again... Oh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have insulted you. Because in my country, cows are sacred.