I believe that there are certain things that could be taken care of that you don't need a strong political background in.

I prefer my Mexican food to have a little bit of an animal that suffered a little bit. That's some of the best food.

We're Mexi-cans not Mexi-can'ts.

From now on, we're home schooling you. Whatever we don't know, you don't know. When did the Korean War start? I don't know, and neither do you!

I'd shake his hand, but I think that's what's holding up his pants.

David Letterman is the best late-night talk show host right now, hands down, and has been since he first took the desk.

Life is moments going by, but if you don't grab them, they're gone. For a long time, the only moments that were available were bad ones. So now I make sure to grab the good ones.