Long before the word Zionism was uttered for the first time, old religious Jews came from all over the world to die in Jerusalem. It is the finest place to die in - it has always been acknowledged. It has a joie de mourir quite its own.

Continental people have a sex life; the English have hot-water bottles.

Israelis keep teaching you your own business. God knows everything but the Israelis know everything better.

The trouble with tea is that originally it was quite a good drink. So a group of the most eminent British scientists put their heads together and made complicated biological experiments to find a way of spoiling it. To the eternal glory of British science, their labour bore fruit.

To have created a Welfare State was a great achievement; but we must go on to create a Welfare Planet.

If somebody tells you an obviously untrue story, on the Continent you would remark, "You are a liar, Sir, and a rather dirty one at that." In England you just say "Oh, is that so?" Or "That's rather an unusual story, isn't it?

The Japanese are human beings like the rest of us, but they will strongly resent this insinuation.