Statistics don't lie. It's the people who make up the statistics that lie.

I have two kids in diapers and a cat whose litter box I clean out. I deal with an awful lot of crap.

The universe is a really interesting place. I couldn't live anywhere else.

When you don't know where you're at, you don't get upset you're not somewhere else.

I love a good non sequitur.

People try to live their lives without consequences and end up living lives of no consequence.

There are no dumb questions, but there are plenty of people who give dumb answers.