Humor is just truth, only faster!

Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.

Motherhood . . . is an act of infinite optimism.

I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch.

I'm not really an impersonator.

... every time I got disappointed I'd remember the Roseannadanna philosophy that says that you shouldn't cry over split milk 'cause if you spill some milk and instead of cleaning it up you just walk over it and start crying, they're gonna put you on lithium.

I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they're the first to be rescued off sinking ships.