I can always be distracted by love, but eventually I get horny for my creativity.

You feel completely in control when you hear a wave of laughter coming back at you that you have caused.

Having cancer gave me membership in an elite club I'd rather not belong to.

While we have the gift of life, it seems to me the only tragedy is to allow part of us to die - whether it is our spirit, our creativity or our glorious uniqueness.

Cancer is probably the most unfunny thing in the world, but I'm a comedian, and even cancer couldn't stop me from seeing the humor in what I went through.

I grew up in front of a television. I guess I'll grow old inside of one.

I would rather be funny than gorgeous, absolutely. Because it's too hard to be gorgeous, you know. I could make a stab at gorgeous as long as I had something funny to say to get out of it.