Fame changes a lot of things, but it can't change a light bulb.

I would rather be funny than gorgeous, absolutely. Because it's too hard to be gorgeous, you know. I could make a stab at gorgeous as long as I had something funny to say to get out of it.

Having cancer gave me membership in an elite club I'd rather not belong to.

I can always be distracted by love, but eventually I get horny for my creativity.

While we have the gift of life, it seems to me the only tragedy is to allow part of us to die - whether it is our spirit, our creativity or our glorious uniqueness.

The goal is to live a full, productive life even with all that ambiguity. No matter what happens, whether the cancer never flares up again or whether you die, the important thing is that the days that you have had you will have lived.

Show business is like riding a bicycle - when you fall off, the best thing to do is get up, brush yourself off and get back on again.