Show business is like riding a bicycle - when you fall off, the best thing to do is get up, brush yourself off and get back on again.

It's always something

Cancer is probably the most unfunny thing in the world, but I'm a comedian, and even cancer couldn't stop me from seeing the humor in what I went through.

... every time I got disappointed I'd remember the Roseannadanna philosophy that says that you shouldn't cry over split milk 'cause if you spill some milk and instead of cleaning it up you just walk over it and start crying, they're gonna put you on lithium.

Show business is like riding a bicycle - when you fall off, the best thing to do is get up, brush yourself off and get back on again.

I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive.

[Roseanne Roseannadanna line:] It's always something.