Want to shut a racist white guy's mouth. Put him around Super human athletic black dudes.

I love when they show the really gay prisoner in prison shows. He's the cutest inside but you know on the street he would be the ugliest.

I think that sometimes I've been a little too nice. I think you have to have a balance. When you're too nice people take you for granted, they take you for a fool I think.

You know what the bodega is? It's the little Latin store, and they try to act like it's a grocery store. It has two aisles. And the guy, he always tries to help me, 'You looking for the bread?' I was like, 'Dude, I can see it right here, alright.' He's like, 'Hey, hey, it's in aisle two.' That's all you got, what are you talking about?

I want to be able to go into a room of aliens and be funny. I don't care who it is. I don't ever want to limit myself to a type of comedy because I don't want to be stuck. I want to be able to make anybody laugh and that's the key for me.

Even if you get a joke right you've done it a thousand times and sometimes there's times where it just doesn't work or someone doesn't agree with you. And I want to show that. I have had more hecklers because that's part of comedy is arguments, you know?

Hey man! I'm a comedian but I'm not a clown.