You know what the bodega is? It's the little Latin store, and they try to act like it's a grocery store. It has two aisles. And the guy, he always tries to help me, 'You looking for the bread?' I was like, 'Dude, I can see it right here, alright.' He's like, 'Hey, hey, it's in aisle two.' That's all you got, what are you talking about?

Hey man! I'm a comedian but I'm not a clown.

My black friends in America don't believe me. I said, 'Dude, I'm Nigerian American.' 'Word? We thought you were, like, regular black.' What the hell is 'regular black'? Crayola coming out with colors I don't know about?

I'm still trying to understand the wearing off high heels at the airport.

I observe everything around me and when something hits me and it's funny, that's what I talk about. I'm a more observational kind of comic.

You've got to keep moving, keep creating.

I love when they show the really gay prisoner in prison shows. He's the cutest inside but you know on the street he would be the ugliest.