I used to think it was corny to be in love but actually it's corny to lose an awesome woman! Real talk.

I use profanity because I like profanity, but I'm not vulgar. Big difference. I love profanity because I really think profanity is cool.

I'm still trying to understand the wearing off high heels at the airport.

I observe everything around me and when something hits me and it's funny, that's what I talk about. I'm a more observational kind of comic.

I got into trouble a lot in school. They say you're a disturbance in class. You're a distraction, they're moving you around. You never really get rewarded in class for being funny. You're a disturbance. But the funny kid is often witty and clever and quick... they finally get a chance to express themselves when they get out of school.

You know, the energy I think I was just born with. I think I was just always like that as I kid; I was always real energetic.

Customs is punishment for those who travel. This will teach you for traveling to our country!