I used to think it was corny to be in love but actually it's corny to lose an awesome woman! Real talk.

If Mandela were a comedian, I bet he would never get mad at a heckler, he'd give him or her a hug.

When my woman kisses me I start dancing like James Brown. Ow! I Feel Good!

I observe everything around me and when something hits me and it's funny, that's what I talk about. I'm a more observational kind of comic.

But there's times when I like to find the strange angles to something. People go, 'I heard a lot of jokes like that, but that's one of the most interesting takes I heard.' That's what I try to do.

Customs is punishment for those who travel. This will teach you for traveling to our country!

Immigrants have been coming here for a long time. The Americans that are afraid of others coming were immigrants once themselves, so they have a lot of nerve. We have a lot of nerve as a country. The only people that should have xenophobia are Native Americans. Everyone else should shut up.