I used to think it was corny to be in love but actually it's corny to lose an awesome woman! Real talk.

Customs is punishment for those who travel. This will teach you for traveling to our country!

I want to be able to go into a room of aliens and be funny. I don't care who it is. I don't ever want to limit myself to a type of comedy because I don't want to be stuck. I want to be able to make anybody laugh and that's the key for me.

Even if you get a joke right you've done it a thousand times and sometimes there's times where it just doesn't work or someone doesn't agree with you. And I want to show that. I have had more hecklers because that's part of comedy is arguments, you know?

I observe everything around me and when something hits me and it's funny, that's what I talk about. I'm a more observational kind of comic.

I wish people would understand that comedy is an art form, and that the same thing that makes a Picasso painting is the same thing that gives Bill Cosby the ability to do an hour of comedy on his kids.

I love when they show the really gay prisoner in prison shows. He's the cutest inside but you know on the street he would be the ugliest.