All my interesting stories are from before I was on television. Nothing interesting has happened to me since then. Maybe it's because the most interesting thing in my life is the show and that's on telly.

It's lovely to get one successful show - the chances of finding a second one are not so hot.

A comedian's a comedian. They're a very kind of cynical bunch. I guess that's why I like them.

You don't want money to make you a social freak where you can only hang out with rich people.

The only time I took Ecstacy was years and years ago. It was absolutely amazing.

The only people who are desperate to go on the show are people we're desperate not to have on the show.

I don't think anyone wants to be gay.