There are three kinda men in the world. There's men that own rope, men that use eye creme, and that dude from Nickleback.

First of all, never buy a man a plasma TV until you're married. A lot of men once they have a plasma TV they don't need a girlfriend

If my father is walking around going, 'Mmm, pussy,' he's thinking about eating the cat.

It`s the prettiest place on the planet. My childhood was like a dream. It`s like the last Mayberry.

The one cool thing with getting older is that you can actively choose to just be an eccentric.

I have less friends, but I have more Cadbury Eggs.

If he's not calling you, it's because you are not on his mind. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn't follow through on little things, he will do same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he's okay with disappointing you.