I enjoy writing the same way I enjoy doing standup. Part of the challenge is being creative and making it work no matter what the constraints.

There's so many ways to do stand up, and I think, for awhile, people weren't really maximizing the freedom of it. We were all kind of doing a similar kind of stand up, and I started to see some original voices come out of Boston.

The best drunks are the ones who only hang out with other drunks in places we all know are filled with drunks.

They say men have a sexual thought every 20 seconds. The other 19 are shame.

Taking down the Christmas tree makes it feel official: time to get back to joyless and cynical.

I was just in Las Vegas, where prostitution is legal. Which is a relief because I live in Los Angeles, where it is mandatory.

They say no one knows if we all see red the same way. Except traffic cops.