Iowa's the worst. Iowa's just nothing, just flat as far as you can see. It's the only state in the country where you can stand on your front porch and actually watch your dog run away for three days.

They say men have a sexual thought every 20 seconds. The other 19 are shame.

Taking down the Christmas tree makes it feel official: time to get back to joyless and cynical.

Don't be like me. Look at me: monogamous, in shape, no debt, sober... I'm dead inside.

We are now able to create virtual realities on computers. Are we all living in one created by someone in the future?

When you're not 21, it's great to drink because you're not allowed to. You're a rebel: you gotta get a fake I.D., you gotta find a place to drink it, you gotta sneak in drunk. And if you get away with all that, you're laying in bed, your heart's pounding, you got vomit on your chin. You're like, 'I'm a rebel!' And you are. You're cool.

Iowa's the worst. Iowa's just nothing, just flat as far as you can see. It's the only state in the country where you can stand on your front porch and actually watch your dog run away for three days.