Driving around with a receding hairline and two kids in a Prius feels a bit boring for me.

I enjoy writing the same way I enjoy doing standup. Part of the challenge is being creative and making it work no matter what the constraints.

When you're not 21, it's great to drink because you're not allowed to. You're a rebel: you gotta get a fake I.D., you gotta find a place to drink it, you gotta sneak in drunk. And if you get away with all that, you're laying in bed, your heart's pounding, you got vomit on your chin. You're like, 'I'm a rebel!' And you are. You're cool.

The most interesting nerds are the ones who take offense to being called nerds.

They say no one knows if we all see red the same way. Except traffic cops.

There's so many ways to do stand up, and I think, for awhile, people weren't really maximizing the freedom of it. We were all kind of doing a similar kind of stand up, and I started to see some original voices come out of Boston.

I feel like I am too old to eat jelly. But I am too young to eat prunes. I am between grapes.