We need more money for schools. We need more money for the kids. Ever think maybe the damn kids aren't worth it?

If being a gangster were a prerequisite to being a musician, there'd be a lot less cello music, for example.

George Bush says that gay people getting married would violate the sanctity of marriage. Is anybody here married? Does it feel like a gift from God to you?

Joke stealing is a big deal to me, but I mean, I'm not going to investigate it if it doesn't effect me directly.

All the evidence we need that God is angry with us is Justin Timberlake's career.

We're a spoiled, lazy culture, full of ethnic pride that has to have a parade for every nationality.

There are more whipped guys on television than there were on the Amistad.