Sometimes you have to suffer a little bit in your youth to motivate yourself to succeed in later life. If Bill Gates had got laid in high school, do you think there'd be a Microsoft?

When I masturbate I fantasize about having my own apartment. I used to think about Cindy Crawford now I think about leaving a dish in the sink overnight.

Sometimes you have to suffer a little bit in your youth to motivate yourself to succeed in later life. If Bill Gates had got laid in high school, do you think there'd be a Microsoft?

Americans are not gonna conserve. We're not gonna shift to smaller cars. We can't - we have big, fat kids.

It's something like 70% of American adults are obese, and the rest of them are women on Ally McBeal.

People come to this country from all over the world to pursue their dreams of driving a taxi or selling hot dogs or working in a sweatshop.

The reality is I'm not a 'get knocked down and come back harder' kind of guy.