In catholisism we have an entire religion based on a woman who really stuck to her story

We're a spoiled, lazy culture, full of ethnic pride that has to have a parade for every nationality.

Look at Thomas Jefferson. The guy had illegitimate kids in the 1700s, and they caught him last year. If you cheat on your wife and cover it up for 200 years, you're pretty much thinking you're home free.

If they [peple] really hate you, that means you're doing something right.

The reality is I'm not a 'get knocked down and come back harder' kind of guy.

When I masturbate I fantasize about having my own apartment. I used to think about Cindy Crawford now I think about leaving a dish in the sink overnight.

Part of growing up is learning your strengths and weaknesses. What better way to figure out that hand-eye coordination ain't your thing than by getting drilled in the mouth by a red, rubber ball? You only gotta get beaned in the face so many times before you figure out, 'I better hit the books because this is not working out.