The internet's a creepy thing, especially if you have kids. It says something very creepy about the fact that I use the same machine to masturbate with as I use to teach my kid the alphabet.
Greg GiraldoWe're a spoiled, lazy culture, full of ethnic pride that has to have a parade for every nationality.
Greg GiraldoAmericans are not gonna conserve. We're not gonna shift to smaller cars. We can't - we have big, fat kids.
Greg GiraldoTerrorism is obviously on everybody's mind. The other day my son says to me, 'Daddy, how come the bad men hate us?' How sad is that? I actually got tears in my eyes - because he's 18. What kind of a moron am I raising?
Greg GiraldoPart of growing up is learning your strengths and weaknesses. What better way to figure out that hand-eye coordination ain't your thing than by getting drilled in the mouth by a red, rubber ball? You only gotta get beaned in the face so many times before you figure out, 'I better hit the books because this is not working out.
Greg Giraldo