Look at Thomas Jefferson. The guy had illegitimate kids in the 1700s, and they caught him last year. If you cheat on your wife and cover it up for 200 years, you're pretty much thinking you're home free.

We're a spoiled, lazy culture, full of ethnic pride that has to have a parade for every nationality.

I've always had real trouble knowing what my actual desires and goals are. I've just been dragged along by fate.

The only reason we're not in Iran now is because we're going alphabetically and George Bush can't spell.

If you're going to dedicate your career to ranting about the excesses of American capitalism, you probably shouldn't weigh 450 pounds.

There are more whipped guys on television than there were on the Amistad.

Christine Todd Whitman had to resign as the head of the EPA. You know, when the governor of New Jersey decides the environment is hopeless, you gotta really think that one through.