How many of you text message? It's a great way of not communicating.

Seventy-two virgins - does that make sense to anyone? And it's an ancient religion, maybe it was misinterpreted? Maybe it's not 72 virgins, maybe it's a 7-foot-2 Persian.

You're gonna check my computer records? Is that important? I don't think the government needs to know how I feel about teen Asian sluts in order to fight terrorism.

It's hard to distinguish when I was actually struggling from when I only felt like I was struggling - which was pretty much always.

All the evidence we need that God is angry with us is Justin Timberlake's career.

Jesse has opened for me extensively on the road so I’ve seen him do hundreds of sets. He is always super funny, has tons of material and the crowds love him. Bottom line, Jesse Joyce is a great comedian.

The reality is I'm not a 'get knocked down and come back harder' kind of guy.