The great thing about being rich is, you can embrace practices that kill the poor - that's what socialism does.

Republicans do actually care about health care. They just don't care about government-run health care.

I have friends my age who started smoking pot when they got out of college. They didn't get anywhere. But if they drank, they managed to go somewhere. Does that make sense?

When one becomes a liberal, he or she pretends to advocate tolerance, equality and peace, but hilariously, they’re doing so for purely selfish reasons. It’s the human equivalent of a puppy dog’s face: an evolutionary tool designed to enhance survival, reproductive value and status. In short, liberalism is based on one central desire: to look cool in front of others in order to get love. Preaching tolerance makes you look cooler, than saying something like, 'please lower my taxes.'

The problem with leftism as a vice is that everyone else is stuck with the hangover.

The media is Obama's scandal condom.

Good people suddenly don't turn bad.