We believe in healthy, hearty laughter -- at the expense of the whole human race, if needs be. Needs be.

Never buy anything with a handle on it. It means work.

On Monday mornings I am dedicated to the proposition that all men are created jerks.

Personally, I never admired communists because they operate on the theory that human beings are nice people.

Cats are people, and the sooner the world accepts that fact, the better off the world will be.

We believe in healthy, hearty laughter -- at the expense of the whole human race, if needs be. Needs be.

Put it back in the horse!