It seems no matter what I read I think 'this is not Harry Potter.'

Humanity is good. Some people are terrible and broken, but humanity is good. I believe that.

You may be wondering why there are words on my hands. That's because I'm a dork. And I'm gonna choose not to explain myself.

I'm also pretty impressive when I'm shoving the neck of a lute into someone's chest cavity.

Think of people as people, not problems that need to be solved.

Hoaxes are nothing new. News media isn't hard to fool. It's fun to fool and people like to mess with people. It all goes to show you that we're not all that hard to fool. I think we should just accept that and trust people anyway.

So the president is like, "Well, once upon a time it was Congress's job to decide whether or not we attacked countries, so let's let them decide." Which is funny, because, as we all know, if Congress were on fire, Congress could not pass the "Pour Water on Congress Act".