Intensity is not the same as intimacy, although we tend to confuse these two words.

Every time I open Facebook, I see a post with something like, "We must forgive or be prisoners of our own bitterness and hate." People think that forgiveness is all-or-nothing, but this myth hurts people. You can forgive 10, 97, or 14 percent. Forgiveness is complicated.

What initially attracts us and what later becomes 'the problem' are usually one and the same.

Before modern feminism, stories of female ambition were silenced or erased; even now, they are told with apology ("Yes, it's a great honor to be a Nobel Prize laureate, but really, what I love best is staying home and being a mother to Kevin and Annie").

There are some things for which there is no apology, and on the question of slavery, there is no adequate apology for ripping people out of their homeland and bringing them here in chains. There is no adequate apology for the ongoing horrific legacy of racism.

The first world we find ourselves in is a family that is not of our choosing.

We commonly confuse closeness with sameness and view intimacy as the merging of two separate I's into one worldview.