deception and 'con games' are a way of life in all species and throughout nature. Organisms that do not improve their ability to deceive - and to detect deception - are less apt to survive.

Often when someone apologizes - like a parent who says to a child, "I'm very sorry I neglected you when you were a kid" - they also ask, "Do you forgive me?," because they want the other person to be over it. However, healing can take a great deal of time. And if we forgive too quickly, we cut the process short.

The first world we find ourselves in is a family that is not of our choosing.

Being who we are requires that we can talk openly about things that are important to us, that we take a clear position on where we stand on important emotional issues, and that we clarify the limits of what is acceptable and tolerable to us in a relationship.

We commonly confuse closeness with sameness and view intimacy as the merging of two separate I's into one worldview.

Differences don’t just threaten and divide us. They also inform, enrich, and enliven us.

It is an act of courage to acknowledge our own uncertainty and sit with it for a while.