Men, you are about to embark on a great crusade to stamp out runaway decency in the west. Now you men will only be risking your lives, whilst I will be risking an almost certain Academy Award nomination for Best Supporting Actor.

Using Viagra is like putting a new flagpole on a condemned building.

I played Hamlet, I played Chekhov and Ibsen and all the classics.

You have to have a certain persona to be a star, you know, and I don't have that. I'm a banana.

I went to the Goodman School of Drama in Chicago.

Tape "Seinfeld" for me.

People who become comedians… come from pain, come from conflict.