Men, you are about to embark on a great crusade to stamp out runaway decency in the west. Now you men will only be risking your lives, whilst I will be risking an almost certain Academy Award nomination for Best Supporting Actor.

I played Hamlet, I played Chekhov and Ibsen and all the classics.

You have to have a certain persona to be a star, you know, and I don't have that. I'm a banana.

And it's tough traveling. You know, the hotels and the airports and all that. That part, eating and getting around to the hotel room and then going on.

Men, you are about to embark on a great crusade to stamp out runaway decency in the west. Now you men will only be risking your lives, whilst I will be risking an almost certain Academy Award nomination for Best Supporting Actor.

Tape "Seinfeld" for me.

People who become comedians… come from pain, come from conflict.