Lesson #456 of high school life: Never, EVER trust an alarm clock.

Otis D'ablo is alive! Do you here me? He is alive and trying to kill me!

I'm too tired to reign over vampirekind, let alone enslave the human race.

A word of advice, if I may? Explosions are an excellent way to kill the undead. But you should probably take a few steps back first, kid.

Vlad made a mental note to amend the friend code: thou shalt not date the girl that thy best friend has a crush on...nor shalt thou try sticking thy best friend in the chest with a sharp hunk of wood.

Could you get O positive this time? That's my favorite.

If you thought eighth grade was tough, try it with fangs and a fear of garlic.