There is nothing that makes a man more self-satisfied than a poor memory.

A banker is a person who is willing to make you a loan if you present sufficient evidence to show you don't need it.

A diet is a plan, generally hopeless, for reducing your weight, which tests your will power but does little for your waistline.

A radical thinks two and two makes five. A liberal is more conservative. he knows two and two make four, but he's unhappy about it.

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

There is a time when we must firmly choose the course we will follow, or the relentless drift of events will make the decision for us.

Maybe more youngsters would stay home at nights if they were not afraid to stay alone at nights.