There never seems to be any trouble brewing around a bar until a woman puts that high heel over the brass rail. Don't ask me why, but somehow women at bars seem to create trouble among men.

I don't approve of the John Waynes and the Gary Coopers saying "Shucks, I ain't no actor - I'm just a bridge builder or a gas station attendant." If they aren't actors, what the hell are they getting paid for? I have respect for my profession. I worked hard at it.

(On Ingrid Bergman) "I didn't do anything I've never done before, but when the camera moves in on that Bergman face, and she's saying she loves you, it would make anybody feel romantic."

What's at the end of a million dollars? Zero, zero, zero... nothing. A circle with a hole in it.

I can't say I ever loved my mother; I admired her.

I always cry at weddings, especially my own.

There are certain sections of New York, Major, that I wouldn't advise you to try to invade.