I let my drinking do the talking.

I hate funerals. They aren't for the guy who's dead. They're for the guys who are left alive and enjoy mourning.

That's baseball, and it's my game. Y' know, you take your worries to the game, and you leave 'em there. You yell like crazy for your guys. It's good for your lungs, gives you a lift, and nobody calls the cops. Pretty girls, lots of 'em.

I don't hurt the industry. The industry hurts itself, by making so many lousy movies - as if General Motors deliberately put out a bad car.

Physically, I’m not tough. I may think tough. I would say I’m kinda tough and calloused inside. I could use a foot more in height and fifty more pounds and fifteen years off my age and then God help all you bastards.

[On the House Un-American Activities Committee] They'll nail anyone who ever scratched his ass during the National Anthem.

Things are never so bad they can't be made worse.