My old trainer used to tell us not to blast, but to caress the ball whenever we took possession. If the ball were a woman... she would be spending all night with Berbatov.

I am more than happy at Blackpool and I am afraid the chairman will need a hell of a tub of cream to get rid of me - I'm like a bad rash and not easily curable.

If I fell into a barrel of boobs, I'd come out sucking my thumb

Paul Furlong is my vintage Rolls Royce and he cost me nothing. We polish him, look after him, and I have him fine tuned by my mechanics. We take good care of him because we have to drive him every day, not just save him for weddings.

This club needs an impetus of energy - but I just feel tired to be honest. I'm worn out.

My wife runs the house much better than I could so I think she could be a linesman or a referee or even a football manager and that's the truth.

Every dog has its day - and today is woof day! Today I just want to bark.