I couldn't be more chuffed if I were a badger at the start of the mating season!

Sepp Blatter and all of them lot Mr Platini I know he was a good player but he aint very good at what he does, I don’t think. I think he’s useless you can quote me on that.

Roy Keane's like a shark. He has those eyes. You don't know if he is going to buy you a drink or eat you.

I feel like a steaming cow-pat - or a car that's clocked up 400,000 miles in one journey.

I might be in a bit of a Skoda garage rather than a Mercedes garage, but I am telling you some old bangers don't half polish up great.

I feel like I've been on EastEnders all my life and now I'm playing King Lear.

Paul Furlong is my vintage Rolls Royce and he cost me nothing. We polish him, look after him, and I have him fine tuned by my mechanics. We take good care of him because we have to drive him every day, not just save him for weddings.