It was lucky that the linesman wasn't stood in front of me as I would have poked him with a stick to make sure he was awake.

I love Blackpool. We're very similar. We both look better in the dark.

I've got four women in my house - my wife and my three daughters - and I tell you what, it's pretty scary. I keep my head down and if we're out shopping I try and look in a man's shop while they make their minds up.

I feel like a steaming cow-pat - or a car that's clocked up 400,000 miles in one journey.

I feel like I've been on EastEnders all my life and now I'm playing King Lear.

There was a spell in the second half when I took my heart off my sleeve and put it in my mouth.

I am more than happy at Blackpool and I am afraid the chairman will need a hell of a tub of cream to get rid of me - I'm like a bad rash and not easily curable.