It was lucky that the linesman wasn't stood in front of me as I would have poked him with a stick to make sure he was awake.

I've got four women in my house - my wife and my three daughters - and I tell you what, it's pretty scary. I keep my head down and if we're out shopping I try and look in a man's shop while they make their minds up.

You can say that strikers are very much like postmen: they have to get in and out as quick as they can before the dog starts to have a go.

If you're a burglar, it's no good waiting about outside somebody's house, looking good with your swag bag ready. Just get in there, burgle them and come out. I don't advocate that obviously, it's just an analogy.

It was lucky that the linesman wasn't stood in front of me as I would have poked him with a stick to make sure he was awake.

I am more than happy at Blackpool and I am afraid the chairman will need a hell of a tub of cream to get rid of me - I'm like a bad rash and not easily curable.

He's going to be what?! Oh for God's sake. Sir David Beckham? You're having a laugh. He's just a good footballer with a famous bird.