It was lucky that the linesman wasn't stood in front of me as I would have poked him with a stick to make sure he was awake.

Every dog has its day - and today is woof day! Today I just want to bark.

You can say that strikers are very much like postmen: they have to get in and out as quick as they can before the dog starts to have a go.

In football you need to have everything in your cake mix to make the cake taste right. One little bit of ingredient that Tony uses in his cake that gets talked about all the time is Rory's throw. Call that cinnamon and he's got a cinnamon flavoured cake.

I've got four women in my house - my wife and my three daughters - and I tell you what, it's pretty scary. I keep my head down and if we're out shopping I try and look in a man's shop while they make their minds up.

I feel like I've been on EastEnders all my life and now I'm playing King Lear.

He's going to be what?! Oh for God's sake. Sir David Beckham? You're having a laugh. He's just a good footballer with a famous bird.